Using Feelings and Logic To Choose a Life Partner
The romanticized view of finding someone that you’re madly in love with certainly seems like a draw for most adults. But along with love, a certain amount of logic is on order if you want to have a life partner that will really be a partner, for life.
Behind the idea of a great life match, be sure to look for things during the initial connection period like red flag habits, too much emphasis on the feeling of love, an inability to talk about money logically, the desire to have a family, and where searchable pop psychology fits into the mix as well.
Watch For Red Flag Habits
Early on in your connection to someone, it’s easy to miss certain darker habits because you’re focused so much on the lighter ones. However, if you find signs that your potential partner is using drugs, make sure to bring it up in conversation sooner rather than later. There’s nothing automatically wrong with drug use, but it’s certainly something that needs to be discussed rather than hidden.
Understand the Feeling of Love
Many people get frustrated later in relationships because the feeling of love has dissipated. But, unless you understand what the honeymoon stage is in the first place, you’ll be entirely confused about why you don’t feel the same way about your partner after a certain amount of time (and vice versa). By logically researching your happy chemicals in advance, you’ll be able to work your way past that boundary with far fewer problems than if you were operating in the dark about it.
Talk About Finances Early and Often
The time to talk about money with your partner is not after you’ve made huge decisions with them. Agreeing to get married, and then deciding about houses, cars, careers, and vacation time is going to lead to a whole lot of issues regarding finances. So, even if it doesn’t feel romantic right off the bat, talking about bank accounts is a huge step in making sense of long-term relationships.
Family Desires Will Change Over Time
Keep the discussion open at all points about family matters. Finding the right life partner means finding someone that you can discuss children with. And that discussion may change over time. Hormones change. Attitudes change. Financial and living situations change. And all of that will alter the collective perception of child rearing.
Do Cautious Research On the Subject of Partnerships
One thing to be cautious of is how to approach the concept of getting information about your relationship from internet searches. There are millions of news sources out there willing to give you opinions and anecdotes about what to do and why, but be sure to vet them before you believe them in terms of black and white.