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Parenting After A Divorce: Ways To Stay Connected To Your Kids

12th Mar 2019

Going through a divorce can be a terrible time in your life, but it doesn’t have to be all bad.  If you got the short end of the stick with only partial custody or some other limited visitation schedule, it’s important to remain close to your children.  

Your ex-spouse may not need you in their life anymore, but your children will never stop needing your presence and love.  Make the most of the time you have with your kids, and equip yourself with plenty of cool ways to stay connected to your children after a divorce.  

Remain engaged in their lives

You may only get every other weekend with your kids after a divorce, but that doesn’t mean you cannot contact them at other times.  The stress and discourse of family court is behind you.  Let it go, and let your kids move on too.  

Call your kids to tell them goodnight.  Show up to your children’s ball games or spelling bee.  

Stay active in the raising of your kids, and you won’t have to worry as much about becoming disconnected.  Keep in touch with their teachers, and address behavioral issues that may arise alongside your co-parent.

Keep your appointments with your kids

One of the most important things to reiterate to your kids after a divorce is that you’re not leaving them.  Do not make the mistake of setting up a time for hanging out and not showing up. Don’t make your kid sit around waiting for a parent who never showed.  

If you have to change your plans, do the adult thing.  Call your co-parent ahead of time, and talk to your children about rescheduling your get together.  

Don’t spend your time together trash talking your ex

When you are spending time alone with your kids, it’s important that you don’t spend that time trash talking your ex (who is also their parent).  Your kids are stressed by there being a clear rift between their parents.  

Don’t make them feel like they have to choose one or the other to devote their loyalty.  Just leave your ex out of the conversation whenever possible.

Start new traditions and hobbies together

Take the time you have with your kids to begin building new family traditions.  The holidays and birthdays are going to be a little different from here forward, and starting new traditions will help your kids adapt a little easier.  You have to redefine normal for them.

Be patient with your children

For a while after the divorce, there will be several changes in the lives of your children.  They will probably act out for a while, and you need to be patient with their unruly behaviors.  

They need to know that you’re still in control and that you will always love and protect them.  They need to know that that part has not changed.

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