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How to Find Some Couple Time without Neglecting Your Kids

21st Dec 2020

Parenthood changes the way in which we perceive ourselves, our partner, and the world around us. Before you become a parent, you’re someone’s child. This means that there’s someone out there constantly thinking about you while you live a more or less self-centered life.

But when you get a child, all of sudden, it’s you who needs to change the focus and start caring about someone else.

For parents who live in a marriage or a relationship, this situation marks the beginning of a different, self-less life.

However, many partners with children experience serious emotional problems with each other when they become parents.

In the next few paragraphs, we’ll describe how you can find some couple time without neglecting your kids.

 

Plan your couple time

Spontaneity is what makes many relationships alive. But when you become parents, you need to be on standby for your kids all the time. This idea nips spontaneity in the bud.

Still, you can find some me-time or we-time if you change your attitude. So, instead of complaining to each other or your friends that you don’t have any couple time, start planning things ahead.

For instance, if you have flexible work hours, have a coffee with your partner after leaving your kid at the nursery or school.

Most schools offer some special extracurricular activities for children. If your kid wants to try some of these things, you and your partner can have a drink and chitchat with each other until that activity is done.

Also, if you two work in the same part of the town, walk to your offices once in a while and talk to each other along the way; you can have a coffee to go as you walk.

Plan ahead what you’ll do when your kids go to sleep. You can find a movie you’d like to watch earlier that day or buy a bottle of wine to relax after a tiring day.

On the other hand, if you don’t plan your time, you’ll be too exhausted to think about things you could be doing.

Talk about your feelings

Many couples with kids neglect the importance of open conversation.

What marriage counselors often point out is that you should always tell your partner what frustrates you about him or her. While this is true, let’s shed a more positive light on the entire situation – talk to your partner about the positive emotions you feel for him or her.

Fathers often complain that they don’t get any positive remarks from their wives, but only instructions and criticism.

Mothers often say that their husbands don’t help him enough around the house and with kids.

Well, none of us can read other people’s thoughts. When you need help, talk to each other. When you get help, tell your partner that you appreciate what he or she has done.

The more you talk about the feelings you cherish for each other, the more energy you’ll have for your couple time.

Consider babysitting options

There are two types of parents in this world: the ones who get help from their parents and relatives, and the ones who care about their kids on their own.

If you leave your kids with their grandparents at least once a week, you’ll get some time to have a rest or spend quality time with your spouse.

However, couples that need to handle everything alone are more likely to burst at each other.

This is where babysitting comes on stage.

What you can do is exchange babysitting with some of other parents you know. For instance, one day a week, your kid can play with a friend from the kindergarten at that kid’s place. On another play, they can play at your place. Such an arrangement will help you and those other parents spend some quality time alternatively.

Of course, you can hire professionals, as well. As advised by childcare experts from a nanny agency in Dubai, the earlier you start working with a nanny, the sooner your kids will get accustomed to staying with her.

Once you find a babysitter you trust, you should begin with the accommodation procedure. Spending a few hours a week with a child carer is good for your kid, as well. That way, kids learn that there are other people apart from their parents out there.

Reduce the screen time

Many couples actually have a few hours a day for themselves without realizing it. When kids fall asleep or when they’re outside doing sports or attending music lessons, parents often spend time on social media, watching video clips or reading news on the Internet.

While watching a movie or TV-series together is a better option, it’s still not an active joint activity.

If you reduce your screen time while you’re together and remove distractions, you’ll soon remember all the great things that you find attractive in your partner. Open a bottle of wine, dance to your favorite songs, play some board games or just chitchat and laugh together to strike your love sparks. Hold your partner’s hand while you’re talking to him or her and show them what they mean to you.

Having children is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world. The love you give to them is something special and it can’t be compared to anything else.

But parents need to be aware that they’re only human beings and that they deserve a break from time to time. Sometimes it means being on your own to clear your head, and sometimes it means spending more time with your partner.

If you apply the tips above, you’ll keep looking after your kids in the best way possible, while being able to nurture your relationship, as well. Such a family organization will help you strengthen your bonds and become even better parents. 

AuthorBio: Anne Harris is an HR specialist working for londongoverness.com. She recruits nannies, governesses and other childcare professionals, ensuring top-notch services for parents worldwide. In her free time she likes reading about education, and children’s welfare, as well as visiting sports events.

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